My Review of 2016 and Resolutions for 2017

Not just new years resolutions

I’ve never written a review of the current year. But I’ve seen other bloggers do this and what they’d like to focus on the next year. I’ve never felt compelled to write a review. Mostly because I’ve never seen a new year as beginning something new. I see it more like any other day. But one that I celebrate together with other people. I’ve never seen why you need to wait for a new year to commit to a goal. You can always start today by taking small steps.

But I like the idea of reviewing how a period of my life has been. That way I can see how much progress I’ve made. Or if some parts of my life have taken a turn for the worse. That way I can decide what areas of my life I want to improve.

I’ve also come to like the idea to have big goals I want to complete during the year. And the ability to list a few experiences I’d like to have in the next year. To remember the goals and experiences I will print out a list to put on my wall. That way I can always get reminded of them. Otherwise, it’s easy for me to forget about them for half a year and then it could be too late for some experiences.

But let’s head into my review of 2016 before finding out my new years resolutions.

2016 review

In an overview, I can say that 2016 has been the best year of my life. I’ve met lots of awesome people. I’ve made tremendous personal progress. And two out of my four best days of my life have happened during this year.

But it’s not been all bright and happy. I’ve had dark if not the darkest periods in my life this year too. Although for this article I’ll focus more on things I can improve and not on hardships. I might write about that in another article. At the moment I’m not in the right ‘mood’ to write about hardships. If I’d try that it would turn out like crap.

Work and money

I started this year with going to school. Mostly because I wanted an apartment and at first because it was fun to return to school after three years. But I found that it wasn’t as fun as I already knew a lot of what was taught and it wasn’t any challenge at all. It was time-consuming, but not challenging. Although I learned a few new things, it wasn’t an efficient use of time.

In February I wrote What I Want To Do For A Living, And Why. This article made me realize that I shouldn’t continue with school. And I’m glad I didn’t (although it took until summer for me to quit). Today it feels like an eternity since I quit school. Like two years ago.

During school, my personal growth stagnated. And everything I did felt pointless, and I was on the brink of entering a state of depression. It wasn’t until after I quit school that I started to grow again and life became better.

Since then I’ve made an app I use every week. I’ve tried to sell it to another company, but I haven’t been successful yet. It seems the contact person there has a lot of stuff to do. I’m not giving up. I just haven’t found a good solution yet on how I can approach the problem. So that’s one resolution I want for next year.

Resuming game development

In September I returned to my work on Voider, a mobile game. Working on Voider was more fun than expected. And because I took a year-long break from developing Voider I gained a lot of insight into how I should work.

To sum it up: If I take the time and don’t stress any task, and I let myself experiment with a different solution. Then I find it a lot more fun to do the task, I complete it faster, I learn a lot more, and programming wise it contains fewer bugs.

Personal development workshops

In October I went to two workshops conducted by Steve Pavlina. These workshops created huge shifts for me in all areas of my life.

I’m in a WhatsApp group conversation with most of the participants including Steve. It’s been motivating to see all that action being taken all the time. People have shared their struggles, their success, and their troubles. And I’ve shared mine. All in all, I’m glad I’m in this group as it’s been such an enormous motivational and energy boost for me.

I’ve also joined a mastermind group with 4 of the other workshop members. This group has made me push myself even further in business.

Thanks to the workshop I decided to start my personal development business. In one essence you could say that I wouldn’t be writing this review if I hadn’t gone to those workshops. I’m looking forward to how the personal development business will go. It’s the business I’m most motivated by. Although I’m still motivated to continue my game business. I just love programming so much xD

The 7 weeks after the workshop have been highly productive for me. I’ve never been that productive anytime before in my life. That’s really awesome. I’m going to enjoy having this amount of energy the next year.

Income

One thing I haven’t yet managed is to earn an income of what I’m working with. That’s been a huge block for me. And I’ve come so close to giving up at times. Or I have given up on some days. But in the end, I know I won’t give up.

But I think the block has lifted now since I’m focusing a lot more on how I can get paid by providing value to people. Instead of only focusing on giving away value, or what I thought was valuable. I’m still giving away some value free though as I rather err on giving too much than giving too little.

I’m positive that 2017 will be the year I can finally make a living out of my business.

Marketing

Before ending the work section, I’d like to mention marketing. This has been my Achilles heel since forever in my business. I’ve never liked marketing. But since the workshop, I came to the conclusion that I’ve looked at marketing from the wrong angle. I used to see it as some boring routine work. But I’ve come to realize that marketing is a creative business; at least if you want to become a good marketer.

To be a good marketer you have to change and adapt your techniques all the time. And you have to look at the metrics, be creative, and use non-conventional ways to market yourself. I.e., a growth hacker.

On the workshop, I also understood why it’s so important to market and niche yourself. I knew this before, but at the workshop, I got that eureka moment.

I still find programming and writing a lot more fun than marketing, though. But marketing my content is at least fun now. I don’t think I’d like to market someone else’s content, though. At least not at the moment, but who knows what I’d like in the future.

Love and relationships

I have a wonderful partner, and we’ve been together with since July 22nd, 2014. I love her immensely, and I’m so grateful I can be a part of her life. We’ve had some hurdles (like any other couple) this year. But I feel we’ve grown closer to each other in the last couple of months. And we’ve developed as human beings.

But I feel I could’ve been a better partner. Of course, we can always be a better person. What I mean is that there have been some occasions I haven’t put as much energy into the relationship as I could have. I.e., I don’t feel like I did my best during some periods. Especially to open up and talk about problems and challenges I’m facing.

For 2017 I’d like to work more on our relationship. And especially what I can do to become a better partner.

Poly

One part of my love life that I feel has lacked is finding one more partner. I’ve had this desire for so long. Although it usually comes in periods and can then the desire becomes dormant for a month or two.

At the moment though it’s not dormant. I want to connect and have deep and intimate relationships with more people. And especially cuddle more with people.

But to be fair to myself, I have made progress this year. Although not as much as I’d liked. I’ve gone to a lot of poly meetups. In one of those, I met this one woman who I felt a remarkable connection with. She’s been busy this year, and don’t have time for one more relationship at the moment. So I’m waiting until she might have time. And I feel it’s worth the wait. It might not be that magical as I remembered it. But I have only felt that special connection with one person before, and that’s my current partner.

During the year I’ve also taken the initiative to cuddle with some people.; that has been amazing. Besides, I met another woman during the summer where I stayed overnight and cuddled together. A big step for me.

As I’ve mentioned in previous articles, I also have this fear of women. But after the workshop, this fear has almost disappeared, including the fear of rejection. I still have a hard time talking to people in general, not only women.

Before the workshop, I sometimes felt desperate when I had the desire to find one more partner. Like a date is a matter of life and death. Of course those dates never went that well 😛 I was too occupied in my head to form a connection with the other person. Now I’ve never felt desperate even when the desire is there. Instead I treat dates like finding a new friend that I might be able to cuddle with. At the same time I don’t have any expectations. The date and relationship become what it becomes.

I used to tell myself that this was how I treated dates. But I know in truth I was only trying to trick myself. I wanted not to have any expectations, but I did as I felt that each date was a matter of life and death. And I had trouble coming to terms with that. So much trouble that I reverted to a childish state sometimes. That no-one likes me and why does everyone hate me. Logically I knew this wasn’t true, but I felt that way.

For 2017 I’d like to focus more on this aspect in my life. I might be too picky in my attempts when I search for the second ‘perfect’ relationship. Maybe I should try a few new relationships and learn more from them. I.e., treat relationships that I treat everything else I’m working for in my life. To experiment and try and fail.

New experiences

I love to have new experiences as I grow a lot during those experiences. I feel it would be cool to list all new experiences I’ve had this year. Mostly for my sake to see that I continue to grow. (includes sexually explicit content.)

  1. Been to two immersive workshops with Steve Pavlina
  2. Jumped from an 8m cliff into (cold) water
  3. Started doing cold showers — It’s awesome!
  4. Hold my breath for 2:30 minutes without air in my lungs
  5. Seen Las Vegas
  6. Going around the city asking if people want hugs
  7. Had a woman spontaneously asked me if she could kiss me
  8. Participated in a love orgy
  9. Went to a (wilderness) workshop hike near Colorado River
  10. Bathed in hot springs
  11. Shared bed with another woman (than my partner)
  12. Slept at an airport
  13. Having lots of energy during the winter thanks to the Wim Hof Method.
  14. Been to Prague
  15. Shared a 160 sqm hotel room with five other friends
  16. Walked to the Airport (took 2.5 hours)
  17. Working 50 hours in a week with ease
  18. Starting writing on my first e-book
  19. Working out with my partner
  20. Joined a mastermind group
  21. Started going to Toastmasters — Group for public speaking

I find it interesting that 70% of the experiences includes other people. And these are the experiences I remember the most.

Social life

2016 was dry when it comes to my social life. I’ve visited friends, and I’ve made a lot of new friends. But on a weekly basis, I haven’t socialized that much with people. Instead, I’ve prioritized other parts of my life, and I’ve not had much energy to socialize.

But I feel that I’m missing a social life. Especially growth-oriented friends that are polyamorous and somewhat geeky too. One more partner might be enough for the most part to fulfill my social life. But it depends on what interests that partner has. And then have a few other friends I with whom I socialize.

Health

Exercise for 2016 has almost been non-existent. I had trouble finding a good routine that worked. And when I found one it kept getting messed up because I didn’t get up at regular times. So I decided to focus everything on getting up at 6:30 am every day. And put all exercise on hold during this time.

What has been awesome though is that I started with the Wim Hof Method. The method has a wonderful effect on me. I got a lot more energy during the days and such. Sadly I’ve needed to put that on hold for a month now. Because I got some virus in the throat and thus couldn’t do the breathing exercises. I’m looking forward to starting practicing them again at the beginning of next year.

Goals for 2017

Now for the part, I’ve waiting for. To figure out and decide my goals for 2017. So what do I want to focus in 2017, what areas of life would I like to improve?

I want to make the goals as concrete as possible. i.e., another person or I should clearly be able to answer yes or no to the question “Have I completed this goal?”. If I have vague goals, it’s easy to cheat and say that I’ve completed this goal.

Love and relationships

In all my relationship my challenge is to open up and talk about problems and hardships. But instead of focusing on opening up I’d like to focus on opening up to my partner.

Concrete goal: Open up on 100 days to my partner. Open up = want to tell something that’s I find hard to tell.

I’d love to find a second partner this year. And as I mention I think it’s better for me to get some more experience with dating. Thus focus on finding any partner; short or long-term, close or far. At least I can try this during this year. If it doesn’t work for me I can always change my goal later 🙂

Concrete goal: Find a second partner. Partner = regularly kissed for a month.

As a sub-goal, I’d like to go to 15 dates; or rather fikas (with different people) in 2017. This sub-goal is to get me moving on the path of finding a second partner. So if I find complete the primary goal I don’t have to continue dating. For those of you who don’t know what fika means (from Wikipedia):

Fika is a concept in Swedish (and Finnish) culture with the basic meaning “to have coffee”, often accompanied with pastries or sandwiches. A more contemporary generalised meaning of the word, where the coffee may be replaced by tea or even juice, lemonade or saft for children, has become widespread. In some social circles, even just a sandwich or a small meal may be denoted a fika similar to the English concept of afternoon tea. In Sweden pastries in general (for example cinnamon buns) are often referred to as fikabröd (“fika bread”).

Concrete sub-goal: Go to 15 fikas with different people.

But to find a second partner I need to cure my fear of talking to women. Including the fear of rejection. I was in denial that I had a fear of rejection. I So in truth it might only be a fear of rejection and not any fear of talking to women. At least the fear isn’t as powerful after the workshop as it used to be. But because of this fear I’ve self-sabotaged many opportunities finding a second partner.

This goal is a hard nut to crack. How do I measure if I have no fear of rejection? Probably if I can strike up a conversation with any woman without fear.

Fluffy goal: Cure my fear of rejection. Cured = strike up 10 conversations with different women without fear.

As a challenge to myself I’d like to walk around the town and ask people: How many random people do you think I need to ask before someone wants to fika with me? [Wait for answer] Would you like to have a fika with me? I don’t see this as a date, but more to get to know another new person and maybe cure my fear of rejection.

Concrete goal: Ask random people until someone wants to have a fika with me.

Work and money

As I’ve already a more detailed plan in Earn $2200 From Blogging In 6 Months, I will only list my goals here. I don’t want to repeat myself and make this article any longer.

But there are some changes and additions. I’d like to earn $3000 in one month. If I can make $4000 per month, I should be able to do most if not all the things I want to do in life. At least things that need money. Like traveling and upgrading some old technologies I have. I feel that $4000 seems like a too high goal for me at the moment. $3000 feels just enough out of my league to be inspiring.

Here’s the complete list

Concrete goals

  • Earn $3000 in one month (one of the twelfth month)
  • Publish 4 ebooks
  • Have one workshop
  • Publish Voider
  • Find a new way to contact business X to sell my app

Experiences

This section has been the hardest part. I ended up writing about experience last because it was so hard to come up with new experiences. The only experiences that came to mind were sexual experiences xD

Although I came up with many sexual experiences I’d like to have it was only to have a threesome that stuck. The other ones can wait and not something I’d want to put as a new years resolution. At least not at the moment.

Concrete experience: Have a threesome

Because I had so much trouble discovering my desires, I asked a group chat what experiences they’d like to have in 2017. That gave me some new ideas. So here are some other experiences I’d like to have in 2017.

  • Go on a shorter hike (over 2 or 3 days) with my partner
  • Take part in a speaking contest
  • Find or start a personal development meetup
  • Do 3 excursions to new places this summer with my partner
  • Bike and see all the streets in Lund I haven’t been to yet
  • Take part in Berzerk obstacle race (8 km with 25 obstacles)

Social life

I’d like to have more social life than I’ve had 2016. I’m not sure how much I’ve socialized with people (except my partner) during 2016. Maybe I socialized 20 of the 52 weeks. And for 2017 I’d like to double that to 40 weeks. Where 20 of those weeks I want to socialize one-on-one with another person. I’d love to connect and create a deep relationship with a few other people.

I don’t count going to Toastmasters as socializing. In fact, no occasions when I don’t know the people there counts. But I do count dates as socializing. The first date/fika doesn’t count as a one-on-one session.

Concrete goal: Socialize at least 40 of the weeks.

Concrete goal: Socialize one-on-one 20 of the weeks.

Health

I want to exercise regularly. But I don’t want to commit to a super exercise goal for 2017. There are a lot of other areas I want to improve in, and I don’t want to have challenging goals in every area of my life.

I love to both run and go to the gym. But I find it easier and I have less resistant to go out for a run than going to the gym. At the same time, I’d love to get stronger this year because I feel weak. But that goal will have to wait until 2018.

Concrete goal: Run at least 46 of the weeks.

But I have ordered Monkii Bars 2 though. And I long until I get them and it becomes a bit warmer outside so I can exercise outside with them. I’m looking forward to doing some ‘ring’ exercises. I hadn’t done those since high school, and those were my favorite when we had gymnastics.

Concrete goal: Exercise 20 times with Monkii Bars outside.

As I won’t go to the gym in 2017, I should end my gym membership this January. I want to end my membership to limit my options. I want to focus on running and Monkii Bars. If I’d have my gym membership card in 2017, I might procrastinate on running because I’d also like to go to the gym. But if I don’t have a gym membership I can’t even make a choice.

If I change in the autumn or winter, I can always start my gym membership again 🙂

Concrete goal: End my gym membership in January.

To get more energy, I’d like to complete the Wim Hof Method this year. And I’m going to restart the course tomorrow. That should be awesome 🙂

Concrete goal: Complete the Wim Hof Method course.

I’d also like to try doing a 30-day raw trial. Truth be told I’ve been a skeptic to eating raw food would make that much of a difference. But all(!) my friends that have tried eating raw have noticed big differences. And that’s made want to try it at least and decide for my own if it works or not.

Concrete goal: Do a 30-day raw trial.

2017 resolutions

For simplicity, I decided to list all goals (resolutions) in one complete list. This list also include three extra resolutions at the end 🙂

I’ve highlighted the resolutions I’ll put most of my focus on during the year.

  1. Open up on 100 days to my partner. Open up = tell something that I find hard to tell
  2. Find a second partner. Partner = kiss regularly for a month
  3. Go to 15 fikas with different people
  4. Cure my fear of rejection
  5. Ask random people until someone wants to have a fika with me
  6. Earn $3000 in one month
  7. Publish 4 ebooks
  8. Have 1 workshop
  9. Publish Voider
  10. Find a new way to contact business X to sell my app
  11. Have a threesome
  12. Go on a shorter hike (2 or 3 days) with my partner
  13. Take part in a speaking contest
  14. Find or start a personal development meetup
  15. Do 3 excursions to new places this summer with my partner
  16. Bike and see all the streets in Lund I haven’t been to yet
  17. Take part in Berzerk obstacle race (8 km with 25 obstacles)
  18. Socialize at least 40 of the weeks
  19. Socialize one-on-one 20 of the weeks
  20. Run at least 46 of the weeks
  21. Exercise 20 times with Monkii Bars outside
  22. End my gym membership in January
  23. Complete the Wim Hof Method course
  24. Do a 30-day raw trial
  25. Get up at 6:30 am on 300 out of the 365 days
  26. Record a 1 second video every day
  27. Dive into water from 5 meters

That’s quite a list for being the first time I do new year resolutions. Many of them are quite simple though and take less than 10 hours to do.

I think the scariest one is to dive into the water from 5 meters. I don’t have any fear of heights I love to jump into the water from 10 meters. But diving that’s something else. I’ve had a traumatic experience as a child when I dived from 3 meters. Since then I’ve been dead scared of diving from anything higher than 1 meter.

Adjust or remove incongruent resolutions

Sometimes I outgrow a goal, or in this case a resolution. In the past, I’ve set goals that once I’ve gone through 10% of the goal I can feel it’s the wrong path, or that this isn’t me.

One time I pushed through anyway. That was a mistake. I didn’t like the end goal. I learned a big lesson that day. Because thankfully it was a simple, fast, but hard goal.

From that day I decided I can always back down if I feel that a goal is incongruent with the person I am or have become. Maybe going to 15 dates makes sense now, but that might not be the case in a few months.

But as always I try to change the focus of the goal first if I can. So instead of just trying to get to 15 fikas with anyone, I could focus on people who already are polyamorous? Or I might want to concentrate on getting to know the other person? In any case, I should never go on a date just because I have nothing better to do.

What are your 2017 resolutions?

If you have any new year resolutions, what are yours? I’m also interested in what you think you would need help with to keep your promise to yourself? You can either comment below or send a message privately to me in the contact form 🙂

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