Disclaimer: These are my thought In the order they popped up in my head. I wrote this to try to get some clarity. I’m not sure how good the content really is, it could be great it could be the worst post ever xD
Recently I had 6 stressful events in my life. One stressful event vanished yesterday quite suddenly; this got me wondering why stressful events can become fine even though the situation hasn’t changed.
One thing that did change was that I got an almost definite answer if I would get to keep my apartment (sublet) or not. Not knowing was really stressful, or I think this was it. Because now I’m quite certain that I won’t be able to rent it any longer, which basically means I don’t know where to move 😛 This actually feels very calming, because now I know. I’m a very solution-oriented person so I had already came up with 3 solutions before the answer and then 4 additional solutions right after I got the answer. Maybe that’s what made it easier, knowing, and knowing a variety of solutions to the problem and a sense of feeling that everything will be alright. Life always has a way 🙂
But one thing that bothers me though is why I was stressed about it before. I knew 3 solutions then, so that can’t really be the whole truth. Sure I didn’t know if I would get to keep the apartment or not, but I still don’t know the solution and if I’ll find another apartment.
Maybe I was clinging to the hope of keeping the apartment because I love it. I might have went into some sort of denial and didn’t want to face the truth that I could lose it. If this is true then stress might have some correlation with denial? Maybe denial of losing something, or even denial of change? All my stress-related events could be like that… As another stressful event is what if I don’t succeed with my business, or rather don’t get any income. I don’t really care about failing, it’s more that I don’t want to get an ordinary job and I can be in denial that an ordinary job could be a good solution. A third event is that I might lose a partner, or thinking that we’re not a good match and that’s really stressful. I think we’re a good match and I’m actually more aware of that know then ever (I love you <3 I know you’ll read this 🙂 ).
How about short-term stress? Like doing a presentation with short notice (like an hour), or speaking the truth to a person. I think a part of it could be denial of change, or rather change how others view you. But maybe I’m just trying to fit everything into my hypothesis… Speaking the truth to someone can be hard, and it can be stressful because of a lot of other factors, so it’s probably not because of a denial of change?
*Hmm… Now I’m starting to write more about fear than stress which I was going to write after this post.*
It seems that for me, some stressful events are stressful because I hide and I’m in denial of the truth because it seems scary. But when I embrace it it doesn’t actually seem that scary and isn’t stressful any longer. *Okay, now I’m getting into fear again xD*